When Oprah says she has a good relationship with her father but was surprised to find out he’s writing a tell all book about her, you have to wonder what that means for all of us who don’t have good relationships with their fathers.
I mean, clearly there isn’t a huge demand for tell all books about moms in Toledo who work at the local law office during the day as a paralegal and make cheeseburger macaroni when they get home at night. But I don’t think it’s just Oprah who can imagine how insane it is to have a good relationship with your father and then boom.. he writes what will most likely be a not so glowing account about you for the entire world to read.
I wouldn’t know anything about that. I’m not proud of it but my father couldn’t write a tell all book about me because after making the manuscript font sized 75 and typing for about ten pages, he would run out of whatever he could possibly stretch for 10 pages in length. I’d have to finish the rest of the rest of the book for him.
(Lucky for him, if he clicks here, he can see I’ve already started telling all. Should give him a jumpstart to page three or so.)
What’s the worst thing her dad could say about her? I really don’t know. But if she hasn’t murdered anyone a la OJ Simpson and she doesn’t have anyone hidden in her Santa Barbara home’s basement a la Desperate Housewives, she can probably get over whatever the newspapers choose to excerpt from the book (currently titled “Things Unspoken”) once it’s released.
Oprah should be happy her dad is coming out with this tell all book (By the way, who is the crazy publishing house willing to risk Oprah never encouraging her viewers to buy books they publish?!) because now she will never have to offer money to him again - she can tell him he should have gotten a bigger advance. LOL He officially looks like all those other parents of celebrities looking to make money off their kids hard work. Love it.
Read more: New York Daily News
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Mama, are you having another baby?
No honey … I had the baby two days ago [pointing to the baby] See, Harrison is right there.
Mama, what’s that? [pointing to my stomach]
My stomach honey.
What’s in there?
Nothing, my tummy hasn’t gone back in yet.
Your tummy and your belly button?
Yeah, I have to exercise so they both go back in.
OK, let’s start. [lies on the floor and starts to do stomach crunches]
No! No! Honey, get up. I just got home from the hospital an hour ago. Mommy can’t start today.
[gets up] OK … tomorrow?
Um… yeah, I’ll start tomorrow. [fingers crossed]
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After being a week overdue which caused his mommy to have no other choice but to accept the fact she had to take matters into her own hands and for the first time ever, opt for an induction,
Harrison Connor Miles
agreed to one last hurrah in utero from 10:30Am to 7:36PM
and then arrived at 7:37PM
on Monday, May 7, 2007
At 20 inches he isn’t the longest of his siblings at birth but at 9lbs and 8oz he does get the special recognition for being the biggest! (No wonder he wasn’t showing up on his own. There was only so much wiggle room in there.)
So here’s to the permanent removal of feet from his mommy’s ribs, the ending of lower back aches (once the labor pushing pain and soreness in my back finally leaves, of course) and the ceasing of random acts of pain in areas I’ll refrain from mentioning publicly.
Thankfully, big sister Natalie and big brother Luke are cool cucumbers with the new addition to our family – especially since he brought them both gift bags of treats. (Stop it, a tiny bit of bribery doesn’t hurt. And boo to you if you think it does.)
Many thanks to everyone who checked in with me during the week I was overdue to make sure I was alright, the nice man delivering breakfast in the hospital who brought me something other than congee and oolong tea, and to Lana, my doctor - for putting up with my insanity.
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