Archive for June, 2007

Laugh Out Loud

Comedy is pretty much the one thing someone could tell me I’d have to do and I would immediately feel nervous.

Walk the plank of The Jolly Roger.  No problem.  Speak for three hours without notes at an expo.  No problem.   Ask me to say things which would guarantee people who paid $50 would expel uncontrollable laughter and I start to doubt my abilities.  Watch me as I pace back and forth and feel the room spinning.

Suffice it to say, lately I haven’t had the urge to try to book any stand up comedy gigs.

I think comedy is an art. And comedians who are amazing at it deserve respect.
So when people tell me something that makes me laugh. I do just that. Laugh.  I don’t keep walls up and worry about how my laugh sounds or what anyone will say. I just laugh.

Tonight I was told I don’t have a genuine laugh. Was told the sounds that came out of my mouth as I laughed sounded like a cackle… a fake cackle.  I don’t understand why anyone could see someone on the phone smiling because of what the other person was saying and laughing so hard they started to cry and accuse that person of being fake.

I’m not fake. Nothing about me. And certainly not my laugh. 

I’ll be honest, I did get very annoyed last night after being told such a hurtful comment.  But then I realized.  Clearly some people don’t have very true friendships or relationships at all and it’s easier to say something insensitive and unkind than work on what they feel is lacking in their life. They must feel its better to attack than to be nice. 

Great comedians who have been known to make me laugh a nice genuine laugh –

Lisa Lampanelli
Lewis Black
Wanda Sykes
Joan Rivers
Jay Leno
Kathy Griffin
Jerry Seinfeld
Jane Condon                                                                                             Margaret Cho
George Lopez
Arj Barker
Josh Blue
Katt Williams

I’ve joined MySpace

Everyone who asked over the past 2 years why I wasn’t on MySpace heard the same reason… because I’m not 14 or a guy pretending to be 14 in order to meet impressionable high school girls. 

And then I’d hear -

It’s not like that. It’s for bands

I’m not a band..

No you can connect with your favorite bands. 

Um, I had a chance to connect (wink, wink) with my favorite guitarist and I didn’t.
You really think I have time to connect in the land of cyberspace. 

It’s about global networking and you can promote yourself.

Oh you mean like LinkedIn. Yeah, I didn’t join that one either.

You can get jobs from this.

Doubt it. I’ll be keeping my clothes on.

People will hire you.

Doubtful. Tila Tequila and I have nothing in common.

How do you know about Tequila?

My friend Tracy told me about her when she joined MySpace.

Please, join.

OK, fine - stop annoying me.  Hell has officially frozen over.
Go forth to my MySpace page.  Just don’t expect anything exciting to happen on it.

Make me one of your Top Friends.

Oh please. It’s Tom and then whomever ends up on there.  I told you not to expect a full fledged MySpace user.  lol

I have 4,400 Friends.

Wow, I don’t know that many people. I’ll probably have 20 Friends on MySpace.

I don’t know all of them. I just added them. You can add anyone you want. Hilary has a page. Obama has a page. Even Bush has a MySpace page but no one wants to add him. *Laughs*

But they really aren’t managing their MySpace page themselves so what’s the fun in that?!

Talk About Random

Have you really gone on TV without wearing shoes?

Yup. The anchor who was substituting that day was probably 5’6. I didn’t want to tower over him. Took my shoes off to be nice.  No one could see. It was really weird to be barefoot.

Have you ever cussed on live TV?

Never live. Never taped.  Of course this means I’ve probably jinxed myself now. Sugar. Honey. Iced Tea.

You’re pretty. You look like Pocahontas.

Thanks.

Any YouTube moments we can uncover?

Not a one.

Your picture looks like Spam.

Um, thanks.

I thought your hair was pieces. Looks like its not.

Yup, it’s not.

Who did you sleep with to get your job?

Um. No one.

You really don’t have a nanny?

Really, I don’t.

I can’t believe you are a mom of four.

Three.  Angelina Jolie is a mom of four.  (Stop confusing us! lol)

Same thing.

You’re right. I have a big family. I’ve seen bigger though.

Stop whining about not taking a vacation in 4 years.

It’s been 3 ½ and I am not whining. Just pointed it out.

That’s not you in your logo.

Nope. But the site will be changing soon.  Just alerting you to another obvious difference you will see soon.

Can you send me some wrinkle cream?

Not related to him.

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