Tomorrow the kids will be in school while their paternal grandfather (whom they have never met) becomes a US citizen.
After decades in this country, he’s becoming a citizen and then packing up and moving (along with his wife) back to his birth place.
Unlike their grandfather, their grandmother does have an interest in knowing her grandchildren. And because my children do spend time with her this news makes me sad. Sad to know that part of their family will be far, far, far away soon. Soon meaning - probably less than a year away. Far meaning – an over 16 hour flight with a layover or two depending on the airline.
I wanted the kids to grow up equally close to my family and their father’s family. Although their paternal grandfather had absolutely no interest in a relationship with them for the past six years, I was hoping one day that would change. I truly was.
Now with a 16 hour flight between them; it doesn’t look like that will happen. And I’m so very disappointed. Disappointed that the color of my skin is the excuse this man has given for not spending time with his grandchildren. Disappointed that he would rather be an ass then get to know three sweet children.
November 25th, 2008 at 10:38 am
That is so, so sad. As traditional Koreans, my parents initially were very resistant to me marrying a Caucasian, but they eventually came around. And I have been grateful that my husband’s parents have been receptive to me from day one.
It’s hard to imagine a grandparent shunning grandchildren; clearly whatever your FIL is carrying runs a lot deeper. It’s a loss for your kids and also for him; I can’t help but think that he ultimately will feel immense regret about not getting to know his descendants.
November 25th, 2008 at 10:49 am
Christine,
I highly doubt he will come around.
I can’t imagine one of my children marrying someone I don’t care for and then deciding to have nothing to do with my grandchildren. I just can’t. I also can’t imagine not wanting to be in the same room with someone based on their race.
And this feeling isn’t because my parents are different races. It’s because I look at everyone as equals. His father doesn’t. And it disgusts me. I shouldn’t have even wasted space on my blog writing about him.