You might have heard me shrieking earlier.    

And not because my friend and I were seated in what seemed like a lover’s corner table at lunch today.

(Hello, oddness to the fourth power. I’m not canoodling with her even if she got insulted when I told her I wouldn’t. *smirk*)

We ate the biggest lunch ever followed by some ridiculous dessert (and I even ate some of the dessert off her plate. I totally need to have some shame.).

Afterwards, I’m not sure what possessed us to head over to a few Madison Avenue stores to shop for evening wear and then to a department store to bikini shop.

I mean, I have LA coming up at the end of the week and she’s got Florida a few days after so yes we were in need of a swimsuit of some kind but oh heavens.

What’s worse than living in the land of delusion?

Not having the mirrors that are supposed to be deceiving and make you size skinny when you aren’t.

The mirrors in these fitting rooms made you size hefty when you really aren’t.

I can’t even say how unflattering the bikinis looked on me. I just can’t even share. I stood there horrified with my clothes off.

After being horrified at how I looked in what I thought were some cute bikinis (yes, I stayed far away from the sexy bikinis and the itsy bitsy bikinis because they are just not me.) I got dressed and stayed in my dressing room waiting for my friend to finish trying on a dozen or so of the styles she chose to bring into the fitting room.

See I look better in the fitting room with my clothes on.

I can promise you one thing, before I go inside a fitting room and take my clothes off again, I am going to look for a list of stores with misleading mirrors.