Work it Girl

I’m not a fan of shopping for clothing for myself.

I no longer fit half the clothing in my closet.

Because ever since Harrison was born; I’ve had these hips that won’t go away.

I want them to go play houseguest with Jennifer Lopez and leave me alone.

There is also the topic of the pesky “last few” baby weight pounds I still haven’t lost.

And I can no longer blame pregnancy when my son will be turning two in May!

I haven’t dieted one bit since having him so what did I expect?! In addition to me never rarely passing up dessert.

So I’ve joined a group of moms on Twitter called Shredheads who have decided to try the 30 Day Shred workout DVD by Jillian Michaels.

I haven’t bought the 30 Day Shred DVD because Exercise TV On Demand has Level 1 and Level 2 for free right now.

(Honestly though, I highly doubt I’ll be anywhere near the other levels.)

For the next 30 Days, I will be crying trying to get myself back into shape or as Jillian Michaels says Shredded.

I watched some of Level 1 last night. Cringed at the 29 minutes of craziness I will be trying today.

But I know I need to at least try.

You can follow my progress on Twitter. Follow me @veepveep

Here goes –

BEFORE PHOTO (coming soon, maybe…)

Code Name:     Victoria

Tag Line:     Hips Don’t Lie

Weight:     137lbs (ironically stepped on a scale called “Thinner” to find this out.)

Goal:         To get back to the pre-pregnancy weight I was before baby #3. I don’t need to lose the 20lbs promised if you stick with the workout.

Diet Plan:     Healthy choices. Gave up restaurant take-out and delivery for Lent which will definitely help.

Rules:         Only drinking water and hot tea. Still have work events and work dinners to attend so I’ll try to be good about the wine and dessert when not at home.

Shred Plan:     Level one, 5lb hand weights.

P.S. I’m asking all of you reading this to be my Richard Simmons support system. If it looks like I’ve given up, call and motivate or yell at me. J Thanks.

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Every time I turn on the TV or read something online (I won’t lie, I rarely have an actual newspaper in my hands.) there’s a story about some recently laid off lawyer or broker who decided to take their severance package and use it to start making cupcakes from their apartment (dude, isn’t that totally against like 40 health codes!?) or teach yoga to inner city kids.

Point is, people are changing their careers once they are forced out of the one they thought they would be in until they were financially comfortable enough to leave on their own terms. And they are loving these new careers… embracing them and not looking back, at least when the cameras and writers are focused on them.

It got me thinking - and not because anyone is forcing me out of any of my 20 jobs - about my next career.

Nothing has really jumped out at me and I think it’s because I’m happy with what I’m current doing.

But people recently have been telling me I’m really funny.

I’m not even sure if those feelings go beyond my Facebook status updates.

And I’m not sure what scale they are using when they measure my funniness.

But it’s all next stop comedienne for me.

Can you tell I’ve kinda let a handful of comments go to my head?

Either way, I now envision myself headlining at Caroline’s here in New York or The Mirage in Vegas.

“Ladies and Gentlemen, the comedic stylings of Vicki P.”

That’s right, I’d need a new name for my new career. Would need a fun “gonna make you laugh, so sit back with your beverage minimums” kind of name.

And I’d need a shtick …

Not exactly like Carlin’s Seven Words…. Maybe more like Lisa Lampanelli except without the mean comments and graphic sexual humor.

Oh wait. That wouldn’t work.

Whatever I decided, I’d want to make sure I didn’t get a talking to from my grandmother after my set was over.

So maybe I would just talk about nothing in particular.

Fudge that’s been done.

Maybe I’d just wear a ball gown through the whole set but not explain why I was dressed for an Inauguration.

Hmmm… I need to figure out my career backup plan because it’s either this idea or my other idea of selling balloons for $5 a pop in Central Park.

Hey, this girl has bills.

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Yes, today is Friday the 13^th.

You know, the day you don’t get out of bed or fly if you are very superstitious.

I decided last night to not fly today but I got out of bed early.

And I’m happy I did.

Went to the Heart Truth Red Dress Collection 2009 show at the Tent in Bryant Park starting New York Fashion Week.

And I twittered as Lynda Carter, Nia Long, Cicely Tyson, Amanda Bynes and other dolled up celebs walked the catwalk in order to draw awareness to the fact heart disease is the number one killer of women.

Headed over to Matt Meyerson’s Expose Fashion Week Suite at Bryant Park Hotel and met Karelle Levy, the designer of Krelwear.

She made me a dress on the spot.

I love it so much I probably won’t take it off until it is time to go to bed. Seriously.

I’m thinking of RSVPing to an event just so I can wear this particular dress.

I’ve worn it everywhere today. Even to Carl Schurz Park where a random passerby took a photo of me. (Thanks again!)

And I got back to a delivery of the cutest homemade cupcakes for Valentine’s Day. Can’t go wrong with buttercream frosting!

Today was probably the best Friday the 13^th ever.

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Yesterday as I waited at the hotel elevator feeling sad it was time to cram pretty sundresses back into my carryon (it was a work trip, people!), Mary* shared with me and everyone waiting at the elevator bank “I was up until 3AM having phone sex with Jim*”.

“Have you no shame, woman?!” The words rushed out of my mouth before I could stop them.

The look on my face was pretty easy to read. I even told her I couldn’t hear anymore. But of course she continued in front of everyone standing there trying to enjoy their South Beach getaway. I was embarrassed for her. My reaction may seem harsh but this is the same Mary who told me she went to see Jim a few days ago and it was “awkward” so she left pretty quickly.

Awkward but when he calls and says he’s stressed, she should be the one to “help him relax”? (Her words, not mine.)

Along with her best friend, I’ve given her advice. It was to “Delete, Delete, Delete” - his number from her cell, his email address out her ‘Berry, his name off her Facebook friends list (so she can stop checking to see if he’s online and then wondering why he hasn’t said Hello yet.) I don’t think she’ll ever realize he’s just not that into her. She has to wake up on her own.

She could waste $12 to see He’s Just Not That Into You and the message would skip right over her as she texts Jim during the movie. Right now, she’s not listening to anyone who is telling her to move on. All of her attention is focused on Jim. So of course she’s disappointed because he’s not doing the same.

Today begins February – the month where half the country is hopeful Cupid will hit them in the ass but they will instead spend their Valentine’s Day alone eating Thai as they watch Lifetime. Or if they are lucky, they celebrate being single with some friends. Before they go home alone. To watch Lifetime. I really want Mary to have a different Valentine’s Day but I’m not getting through to her. She’s going to be crushed in a two weeks. L

Tuesday night, I’m going to a screening of the movie He’s Just Not That Into You, maybe something silly will be said and I can pass it along to her.

I have to ask, how do you get someone to finally see the light?

*Jim is really not Jim. His name has been changed. He’s an ass no matter what name you give him though.                 * Mary is not really Mary. One day she’ll realize Jim is not just that into her. Although it probably won’t happen before he announces his engagement to someone else.

—-

Car Song – Lovefool - The Cardigans “Love me, love me, say that you love me… I can’t care about anything but you.”

Next stop – back to the office after being in Miami for a few days. Tonight, I’m actually looking forward to watching Chuck in 3D.  I’m not afraid to admit I watch Chuck.

Drive Thru Interview with

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